Illicit affairs draw blood

Married women taking young lovers, angry husbands lurking in shadows with drawn daggers — these are not vignettes from a Hollywood erotic thriller but a logbook of daily happenings in the city. Crimes and suicides linked with extramarital affairs and sexual jealousy are on the rise in the city, much to the alarm of the police.

A young woman and her married lover recently committed suicide at a city park, shattered because “people failed to understand their relationship”. In another incident, a woman teamed up with her boyfriend to kill her husband.

Police officers term all this a fallout of the increasing permissiveness that westernisation has brought in and its inevitable conflict with traditional mores. “I think the IT boom in the recent years is also responsible for the rise in the number of extramarital affairs and the resulting violence,” says the Inspector General of Police, S. Umapathy. He also feels that city youngsters taking to casual sex is on the rise in the city and this triggers conflicts and jealousy leading to murder.
“Nearly 90 per cent of the cases we handle in a month are related to extramarital affairs,” says Vishal Mehra, proprietor of a detective agency in Banjara Hills. “Often married partners who feel cheated resort to violence when they discover that their suspicions have been confirmed.” It is not just suspicious husbands and wives who approach Mehra. Older people also seek his help to track the affairs of their daughters-in-law or sons-in-law.

However, it’s mostly jilted lovers and those who discover a partner’s extramarital relationship that turn violent. Sometimes the feelings lie buried and often surface later in life giving rise to intense jealousy. “Several people do enter into wedlock to keep to societal norms, but they end up having affairs,” says Dr Minhaz Nasirabadi, a psychologist. “Changing lifestyles and exposure to the western culture often leads people to believe that an affair is acceptable. But the partner finds it difficult to come to terms with it and it often leads to him/her feeling insecure and jealous,” he adds.

However, there is still a better way to deal with such situations without resorting to violence avers Dr Minhaz. “Seek counselling from a qualified therapist. It always helps if people ascertain the truth from their spouses before jumping to conclusions. Such situations can be stressful and lead to depression and intense anger. A counsellor can help them deal with such problems,” he says.