Violent kids, a disturbing reality

The recent case of two teenagers abducting a child and later killing him, shocked the nation. The teens later claimed they were influenced by the movie Apaharan. In yet another incident, a 10-year-old stabbed his friend with a pair of scissors. The reason? He was denied the kite he wanted.

these are not stray cases, child psychologists point out. Violence among children below 16 is a disturbing reality. Dr Preeti Shukla, a child counsellor, says, “Almost 70 per cent of the children I counsel show aggressive traits. hurling abuses, destroying toys and personal belongings are the first signs to watch out for. Such kids, if not checked, grow up to be violent and this behaviour gets hard to control once he/she reaches his/her teens.”

While experts reveal children who get their way always, end up resorting to aggression when they are denied something because they fail to understand the concept of denial.

“This generation has an extremely low frustration tolerance level,” says Dr Shakila Naidu, a consultant clinical psychologist. “saying no to kids is crucial. If you keep giving into their demands they get used to it. That is when they get frustrated and this soon turns into aggression.”

Parents however claim they are helpless. Kishan Kumar, father of a five-year-old recalls a recent incident, “My son cut up his little sister’s birthday frock with scissors on the eve of her birthday just because we refused to buy him a cake too. Every time we say no to something, he resorts to such behaviour. and now we are worried.”

sibling rivalry which was a part of growing up, has taken a violent turn too. Dr Minhaz Naseerabadi, a psychiatrist, says, “Recently, I met an 8-year-old who beat up his sister so badly that she had to be hospitalised. While sibling fist fights are common, this was abnormal, so his worried parents brought him to me. In the recent past, such cases have become very common.”

Not exposing your child to violence of any kind could be one solution, say experts. “Be it movies, news, or video games — there’s violence everywhere. It is natural for kids to ape what they see,” says Dr Minhaz.

setting limits on what can be done, what content can be watched on TV and teaching them to differentiate between reality and the fiction at an early age is crucial, say docs.

And if you believed in the old school rules of parenting, here’s news. Hitting your child to correct him is not always the right way to handle matter. “Kids don’t understand that parents are resorting to violence for a reason or purpose. They only understand that they are using violence, confirming that they too can do it.”

Tantrum Control

* the first time your kid resorts to violence, don’t give in. Make it clear that he is wrong and his behaviour is unacceptable.

* If your child is already short-tempered and violent, talk to him when he is sober. Set his limits. Lead by example. And never budge.

* If your child is unmanageable, take him to an expert who can teach him anger management. The earlier, the better.


Courtesy: Deccan chronical